


See Me Again

by bavarian_angel



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Emotions, M/M, Meeting Again, Regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 16:25:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13574364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/pseuds/bavarian_angel
Summary: Three years later, Mark needed to find out.





	See Me Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Mark had been up long before the sun had started rising. However, he was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling constantly. He had barely slept last night, his thoughts going round and round in circles. The open window let in the cold morning air, making him shiver.

Not for the first time in the last few days, he wished he was in Australia with it’s warm spring breeze on the beaches. But then he had known that he would be here on this day of this year - ever since they had promised each other.

_I know that you can’t let them go like this. I’m not asking that of you. But if you still feel like this in three years time, come and meet me._

_Where?_

_The place we always watched the sea from..._

A lot had happened in the last three years. People had come and gone. Titles have been lost and won. Mark definitely wasn’t the same man any more that had turned around and had left. But despite all of that, despite not seeing each other for over a year, not speaking a single word on the phone, he still loved him with all his heart. Mark only hoped it wouldn’t be doomed forever in a matter of a few hours.

A long time ago, it would have been scratches on the door which would make him leave the bed, today there was nothing. In a desperate attempt to waste more time, Mark rubbed his face with both of his hands. Five days worth of stubble felt rough against his skin. He didn’t need a mirror to know that he looked like shit.

However, he also knew that he couldn’t meet him like that. The younger man deserved the best after all. That thought finally made Mark move.

Trying to not listen to the slight cracking in his joints, he sat up in the bed, hesitating for one more moment, before he slowly made his way into the bathroom. What followed was pure body memory - when he was showered and shaved half an hour later, he couldn’t tell how he had done it. The reflection in the mirror looked younger than he felt.

Not being able to look at it much longer, he tore his eyes away from the picture and made his way over to the wardrobe in his bedroom. Looking at the few clothes he had in there, he contemplated a suit for a moment - knowing that it would make him look good despite the rest of his appearance - but soon he realized that it would be way over the top for today.

Without giving it much more thought, he pulled out black jeans and a simple dark blue shirt. Something not too fancy, but also making him feel more comfortable - or at least as much as he would on this day.

Checking the time on his watch, Mark realized that it had taken him much longer to get ready than he had anticipated. If he wanted to make it in time, he would need to leave soon; and he couldn’t start to procrastinate or else he wouldn’t go at all.

In a rush, Mark collected everything he needed; only to stop right before opening the front door. For a moment he looked back and he felt memories coming up, but with a fierce shake of the head, he chased them away.

Stepping out of the door, he couldn’t suppress a tiny sigh though. On the way to his car, his legs were shaking. Despite looking like a guy who couldn’t be fazed by anything, Mark was very much on the edge though. However, as soon as he was sitting behind the wheel, he calmed down. At least this hadn’t changed.

Starting the engine, he opted for silence in the car, fearing any music would trigger something to make him stop. Forcing himself into the right mindset, the street in front of him the only thing that was counting right now, the way just flew by. When he turned into the familiar parking lot, he couldn’t remember anything from the drive.

Due to the time of the year, there were barely any cars around. He didn’t want to do it, but still he caught himself looking out for any that looked like they could belong to him. With no success though.

Mark grabbed the leather jacket from the back seat, quickly pulling it on when he got out of the car. The chilly wind was an obvious sign that he was close to the sea. From here it would only be a short walk, off the beaten and official paths though, to the place he needed to be today.

Mark knew that this was his last chance to turn around, but he needed to know if the other had remembered - and if the circumstances brought him here today as well. With every single step he took, the courage in his heart started to sink though. When he realised that he would just need to pass through one more line of trees, he had almost convinced himself that everything up to this point had been in vain.

But in the same second, Mark pushed the leaves of a small bush to the side, his eyes immediately fell on the lone figure standing by the edge of the cliff. The crashing waves from the sea underneath were drowned out by the loud ringing in his ears. The other man obviously hadn’t noticed his presence yet, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered any more because he was here.

“Sebastian...”

Mark’s voice had just been above whispering, but the wind must have carried his words over to the younger man, who immediately turned around. While his heart wanted to run over to him, wrap him in his arms and never let go, his mind made him hesitate.

Sebastian had changed. Mark could see it in his face. He looked older, like life had left its marks; and he looked tired as if he hadn’t slept in days.

However, when Sebastian had recognized him, Mark had noticed that small spark in his eyes - something he hadn’t seen in years, sometimes he had even thought he would never see it again.

Without saying anything else, Mark slowly walked over to Sebastian, stopping right in front of him. If he extended his arm, he would be able to touch him.

“You’re here...”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t think you would...”

“I know. Things have changed...”

“What do you mean?”

Mark looked at him with confusion, while Sebastian turned his head to look out to the sea. He could see tears shimmering in Sebastian’s eyes, but the younger man obviously fought against them - with a heavy sigh, he actually seemed to have won against his overwhelming emotions. The fact that Sebastian always had have a hard time acknowledging his feelings, often shutting them away before being able to show them, had been the issue of a lot of fights between them. But when he finally looked back at Mark, there was so much going on in those eyes, in which Mark could easily be lost in.

“I’ve been to Finland.”

That simple sentence was like a punch into Mark’s face. Without noticing it, he took a small step backwards, suddenly needing a bit more of distance between them.

“So?”

Mark’s voice was shivering with that one word. Inside he felt the deep urge to just to turn around and run - and hoping that this was just a dream after all. Sebastian took another deep breath, before swallowing heavily.

“I made a lot of mistakes. You know that already.”

“Is he here? Is he waiting for you?” Mark expected to sound spiteful, but all that could be noticed was hurt.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because at least one of us was in the right set of mind to turn me away. To tell me... that... I couldn’t run forever. That I had to face some facts. One of them being that I should have never run in the first place - from the one man I had lost my heart to.”

He was sure that his ears were playing a trick on him; or that Sebastian meant somebody else. But when he saw the younger man slowly closing the distance between them, looking up at him, Mark had to fight back a sob.

For the very first time, Sebastian’s eyes were so full of emotions, almost spilling over. Very slowly the younger man raised his arm and lay a hand on Mark’s cheek, the touch sending a jolt through his whole body.

For a long moment, neither of them moved, still waiting if one of them would back out again. But then Mark couldn’t hold himself back any more. He grabbed Sebastian’s jacket, pulled him in before their lips finally met again. And Sebastian still tasted the same way like he had done all those years ago.

Mark could feel him almost collapsing into his arms, but he held him steady. This time he would be the strong one. He would hold Sebastian, would fight any reasons for him to run away. This time they would try for forever.


End file.
